Final Fantasy VII Meets Jerry Springer
by Cody Smith
Summary: Matrix and Yuffie get into a fight and end up breaking something, what do they break? Read to find out. R


Matrix is sitting on the couch, flicking through the TV channels, and he settles for Jerry Springer.

Matrix: This looks Interesting.

Yuffie walks in.

Yuffie: Change it, my favorite show is on.

Matrix: No, I'm watching this.

Yuffie: I don't care, change it!

Matrix: No!

Yuffie tries to grab the remote, but Matrix pulls it out of her grasp.

Yuffie: Give it!

Matrix: Make me!

Yuffie and Matrix roll off of the couch, and they start rolling around on the ground, kicking and punching eachother, trying to get the remote. Cloud walks in, and he sees the fight.

Cloud: What are you two idiots doing?!

Yuffie: This stupid jerk won't give me the remote!

Matrix: You crazy fool!!!! I'm watching it!

Yuffie: I don't care!

Cloud: Knock it off you two idiots, you're going to break something!!

Matrix and Yuffie ignore Cloud, and they continue to brawl on the floor. They roll into a table, knocking Tifa's vase off of it. The vase shatters as it hits the ground.

Cloud: You broke Tifa's Vase!!

Cloud hears the front door open.

Voice: I'm home.

Cloud: Holy crap, It's Tifa!!

Tifa enters the living room, and she spots the shattered vase.

Tifa: (Furious) WHO BROKE MY VASE!?!?

Cloud: (Running for window) Matrix and Yuffie!

Cloud jumps out the open window.

Tifa: (Glaring at Matrix and Yuffie) YOU'RE DEAD!!

Tifa begins glowing.

Matrix: Oh crap.

Yuffie: Let's get outta here!

They stumble up, and they run and jump out of the window as well. Tifa uses Bahamut, and obliterates half the house. Matrix and Yuffie are lying on the ground, panting.

Yuffie: Way to go Matrix!

Matrix: Me, you're the idiot who wouldn't leave the remote alone!

Yuffie: That does it, you're dead!

Yuffie jumps on Matrix, and they begin punching and kicking eachother again. Tifa jumps out of what remains of the house, and she runs over to Matrix and Yuffie.

Tifa: YOU TWO IDIOTS BROKE MY VASE!!!

Matrix: It was Yuffie!

Yuffie: It was you!

They jump up, and Yuffie grabs Matrix by the throat, and Matrix does the same. Cloud runs over.

Cloud: I called The Jerry Springer Show, we're going to go on and deal with this problem.

Matrix: Fine by me, a chance to kick Yuffie's butt on national TV.

Yuffie knees Matrix in the gut, and Matrix pokes her in the eye.

Yuffie: (Holding eye) You're dead!

Matrix: (Holding stomach) Same to you!

Tifa: I'll kill you both!

Cloud: (Muttering) I can't believe I have to put up with this crap.

The next day, on The Jerry Springer show.

Jerry: Welcome to The Jerry Springer show, I'm Jerry Springer.

Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Please welcome our first guest, Matrix Jones.

Crickets are heard chirping as Matrix comes out.

Matrix: You suck!

Matrix sits in one of the empty chairs.

Jerry: Hello Matrix.

Matrix: Hi Jerry.

Jerry: So, why are you here?

Matrix: I'm here because recently, me and my friend Yuffie The Disaster Kisaragi got into a fight over the remote for our TV.

Jerry: Let's bring out Yuffie Kisaragi folks.

Yuffie runs out, as Matrix jumps up, knocking his chair over. The crowd cheers wildly as Matrix and Yuffie start fighting, fists flying in direction. The bouncers , and the famous Steve break up the brawl.

Yuffie: You'll pay Jones!

Matrix: Suck a lemon Kisaragi!

Matrix struggles against the bouncers.

Steve: Sit down.

Steve forces Matrix into his seat.

Jerry: We have two more guests, Tifa Lockheart, whos vase was broken in this brawl, and Cloud Strife.

Tifa and Cloud walk out, and Tifa starts cursing at Yuffie and Matrix as soons as she sees them.

Tifa: You Censored heads broke my Censored vase you stupid Censored heads!

Matrix: Oh, stop Censored complaining Tifa.

Tifa punches Matrix, and he jumps up, and they start swinging wildly at eachother. The bouncers break them up.

Jerry: Enough, you have to settle this.

Cloud: I have an idea Jerry.

Jerry: (Looking at Cloud) What is it Mr. Strife.

Cloud: Well, I was thinking, Matrix and Yuffe can apologize, and chaip in to buy Tifa a new vase, and we could also get each of them a TV for their bed rooms, so no more fights take place.

Matrix: Sounds good to me.

Yuffie: Me too.

Tifa: Same.

Jerry: Great.

Matrix and Yuffie: We're sorry about the vase Tifa, here's 200 Gil from each of us.

They each give Tifa 200 Gil.

Tifa: Thanks you two.

Jerry: My comment is you should apologize and pay for your mistakes.

Tifa: Let's go home.

Matrix: You're paying to rebuild.

Tifa: What the sponge are you talking about?

Cloud: You leveled half of the house.

Tifa: Crap!

The End.


End file.
